Funny Wake Your Ass Up Audio Message

41 Funniest Voicemail Greetings in the World

Many years ago, in a time before cell phones (Yep information technology exists, and I remember it!) I used to become inundated with phone calls to my landline at all times of solar day and night. It was my own fault; I was a pupil and shared an apartment with a fellow student. Nosotros had fun past leaving funny voicemails on our answering machines and the news speedily spread through school and even across the whole county I lived in.

We even had regular listeners and if we didn't change the message frequently enough, we got disgruntled callers asking us why we hadn't any new voicemail greetings.

I'd like to think we were pioneers in our field, and with the advent of the cell phone now anyone tin can set up a witty voicemail, and the evidence points to the fact that many people honey to amuse us with their funny voicemail greetings.

So, below are a compilation of some of the funniest voicemails in the world compiled by an old paw at the game.

The World'south Funniest Voicemail Greetings

1. No one answers phone calls anymore; transport me a text.
2. Hey! It's (YOUR NAME Here). And so, ha ha funny story, my phone and I are playing hibernate and seek, and it's winning. I'll call you back as before long as I detect information technology. Hey before you go out that bulletin, practice yous want to know something about me? I dear jokes. You want to know something I hate? I detest long messages, and so why don't you leave a short one and I'll get back to you. If you get out a long one don't count on it.
3. Hey! It'south ____. Do y'all want to hear a joke? Knock, knock! Who's at that place? Not me, so leave a message and I'll become back to yous as soon as I tin can!
4. Hi…You accept reached (name). I am unable to answer your call. Leave your name and number and I will return your call…If you are a bill collector, please transport me a self-addressed stamped envelope so I can send you lot my latest bills. Have a keen solar day!
5. Hey… Who is this? …Who? … Oh, I detest you. You are the worst!
6. Hey Information technology's _____. Here are three things you probably shouldn't do right now: Ane – Don't leave a message. It'southward slow to heed to and a waste of my time, Ii – Don't call me back. I didn't answer for a reason so just keep that in listen, Three – Don't await a think. It's non gonna happen and then you might besides forget near information technology. So, keep those things in mind the next time you call me. OK, thank you, good day!
7. Hello, you have reached _____. The reason I haven't picked up is because you take been rejected! Thank you.
8. (Proper noun) is not available to take your call as of right at present. If you are family unit/friends, printing 1. If you are someone looking to give me a job, press 2. If y'all are one of the multiple out-of-surface area code numbers that constantly insist upon calling me, even though you should know past now I'm never going to answer, press the finish button.
9. The number you take reached is currently not in service, but when I wake upward and turn my telephone back on, it will be!
10. Hello……. Ha Ha, tricked you! Exit a message at the tone.
11. Hey this is _____ and if you hear this, I either think you're crazy and I don't want to talk to you lot, or I'm trapped under something heavy. Leave a message.
12. Who is this? How did you get this number?
13. Hello! It'south [Your Name Here]! Let's Meet Upwardly! I'm Close! (brand running sounds then cut off).
14. Hello, and thank you for calling the Starstripe Mental Hospital. If you demand to accomplish a patient, delight press i and then say their name. If you lot are delusional, delight have either you or your monkey press ii and we will connect you to the Mothership. If you have short term memory loss and you don't know who we are or why you chosen, please printing 3 and we will remind you lot. If you lot are dying… well that is not our trouble and we cannot do anything most it. If you want to sell united states something… this number is no longer valid. Thank you for calling Starstripe Mental Hospital and take a squeamish twenty-four hours.
15. You accept reached the voicemail box of (your proper name). If you're a hot chick/guy, you may get out a message at the tone. If you're one of (your name)'south friends, you may also leave a message at the tone. If you're non hot and not one of (your name)'due south friends, call back when you are.
16. This is the voicemail box of The Goddess. Bow down and leave your humble message after the beep.
17. Hullo, lamentable, but my therapist says I should spend more fourth dimension "finding myself" than messing with a cell phone. So, exit a bulletin after I terminate crying.
18. Hey, oh my god, I was but getting ready to telephone call you. I'm so bored and was wondering what you were doing. Well probably getting ready to exit me a voicemail, but when I call you lot back volition you let me know? Thanks.
19. Hi, peradventure I actually picked up the phone, only I'm bored so I'm pretending to be the voicemail. Hey, don't be such a critic! Would you rather I pretend to exist a sofa absorber? (break) Sorry, I can't get to the phone right now because I'm pretending to exist a sofa cushion just leave a message and mayhap I'll get back to you lot when pigs fly.
20. Hello? Oh, hey look a minute I can't hear you… Sorry, hold on… Nope, still tin't hear you. You want to know why? Because I'm not here correct at present. So, exit a bulletin at the beep.
21. Hi, if you're hearing this, that ways I'm probably trying to avoid y'all, and then don't get out a message, because nobody likes you.
22. Howdy? … Yea … Uh huh … Yea … No, yous stop yelling at me … Oh, you're yelling alright … you lot know what, I'm hanging upwardly … yes, I am … (Beep) –
23. (Very long break) Expect! Please don't hang up! I want to hear what yous take to say.
24. Howdy. I'1000 sorry I didn't reply your call. I'm just waiting for more important people to phone call. If I hear your message and deem you worthy or the championship "important," I will think near calling you back, just for now. Cheerio!
25. Hello? (Pause) You're even so talking!? Shut the **** upward!
26. I don't know who you are, and I don't know what you lot want. Simply yous can tell me all of that in the message you lot leave me.
27. Hi, you have reached (names) voicemail. If you want money or to sell us something, we a) Gave at the part, b) Already have it, or c) Don't want it. If you are a friend, trying to give us money or just desire to talk, then leave a message or attempt my cell phone number.
28. (sing to call me peradventure) " Hey, I missed your call, I hope y'all aren't crazy, But leave your proper noun, I volition call y'all maybe!"
29. Whatever unfortunate chain of events has led you to call my number this fourth dimension! Get out your story here and I'll call when I can."
30. You lot accept reached the number you well-nigh recently dialed.
31. You accept reached this mailbox by mistake. Bank check the Number and call back!
32. I'm glad you called, but I'm non home, but I'll be dorsum before too long. You've got to wait for the beep, you've got to go out your proper name, yous've got to get out your number, expect for the beep! *BEEP*
33. Hello, y'all've reached the (Start and Last name) dyslexia helpline. Please leave a massage.
34. You have reached the Gestapo Voice communication Therapy Unit of measurement. We take ways of making you talk. Delight leave your bulletin after the slightly disguised scream at the end. You will leave your message Now!
35. Like Totally, like Wow. Similar I'm non here right now, leave a message at the beep and I'll telephone call you back if you're not a creep.
36. Talk to the voicemail because (your name) don't desire to talk.
37. I have a very unique voice post message that many people have wanted me to put on their phone. Tin can you help me sell this and set up for a percentage of the price.
38. Studies show that people that leave letters are usually intelligent, outgoing, friendly, and motivated, People that hang up are usually dark, depressed, contemptuous and sometimes psychotic. Please categorize yourself at the tone.
39. Hey, hello and how do yous do? exit a brusk message, and I will become back to yous.
40. Hello? Pause… Hello? Pause… Hello? Hey, who is this? Pause… I think we've got a bad connection; can you lot speak up? Pause… All right, I think yous should probably just leave your name and number at the tone!
41. Hello? … I can barely hear you, speak up. Okay that'south better. Okay and so what did y'all want? … Oh, that'south overnice, only I want you to leave your name and number afterwards the beep. Bye!

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Source: https://goliveagain.com/41-funniest-voicemails-in-the-world-2021/

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